Baby don't cut
by a-slightcatchoflightning
Summary: Baby don't cut - Rovid AU Set in their second year of college - This fic is based on the song "Baby Don't Cut – Bmike {so I'd recommend listening to I before reading this, so it makes a bit more sense} TW:/ Self harm, Overdose, Suicide attempt, Self-hatred, Anxiety This is pretty dark


Robyn stared into the abyss of her blank phone screen. She'd forgotten to charge it and now she couldn't message him; ever since her attempted overdose the previous year, Robyn and David had made a pact to message one another each hour. It seemed obsessive to outsiders, and her parents were always nagging at her about her constant connection to her phone, but it was what kept her afloat, so that's what they did.

She wondered what he was thinking and felt a pang of guilt. Her French class had fifteen minutes left and it was getting on for 2pm; but surely he couldn't actually care that much? It was just one text and, though he'd never missed a text before, she must be such a burden. Despite the hateful thoughts, she felt awful – if by some strange chance he _did_ care, she didn't want to panic him. Why was the only thing she was actually good at, have to be hurting people?

Eventually the lesson ended and Robyn dashed out the door, only to be grabbed around the waist by her boyfriend as soon as she set foot out the French classroom. David pulled her to him and pressed his face into her hair. "Robyn." He said, both relief and a hint of pain filling his voice, "I thought" he tailed off.

"I know, I'm sorry, my phone ran out of charge, I was busy last night and forgot to charge it."

David frowned at this last statement: it wasn't normal for Robyn to forget to charge her phone; she always kept a list of little things that needed doing, though she always forgot the big things. He shook the thought and replied.

"Hey, it's okay" he was less frantic now, "I was just worried, I care about you" He smiled at her and she looked back up at him apprehensively.

"You're a fool, you know that?" she giggled.

"Yeah, I know" He winked back at her, before nudging her sideways slightly as they began to walk to the other end of the corridor where the doors were situated.

They continued to nudge one another and laugh in turn, until they reached halfway up the corridor, by which time they were both doubled up with laughter as they shoved each other, their movements clumsy and their moods lifted.

'Just like kids' Robyn thought, standing up seriously, her laughter now fading. 'Just like kids'.

Robyn and David sat together in his back garden, her on his swing set that he'd had since they were five, and him lying on the grass; he was picking daisies and his fingers delicately wound them together, creating a flower crown for his girlfriend. This was the way it had always been, since they were three and first met at nursery. He'd fallen over and skinned his knees on the playground and she'd seen the little nervous boy get hurt from across the yard. Robyn had run over to where a teacher was helping him and had coyly handed him the red pastille – her favourite. He had graciously accepted it, his tears stopping and they'd been best friends ever since.

Now she gently wavered around on the swing above where he lay, looking down at his long, awkward frame. She took in the occasional gentle twitch of his body as he concentrated on making sure the daisies were all the same length, before adding them to the string: it was a side-effect of his anxiety, but she loved it – it was part of what made David David.

"Hey I made a small one for your wrist" David broke the silence, holding a small loop of daisies, the tips of their petals tinged purple – the type of purple that signifies the end of a hot summer.

A bubble of panic rose up Robyn's throat and she swallowed it down. "Ah that's sweet" she was choking the words out, a smiling façade taking over, "are you sure it's big enough?" She coughed, the bubble of fear rising once more as he replied.

"Robyn, of course it's big enough, I know you like the back of my hand, heck I know you _better_ than the back of my hand" David proffered the chain once more reaching for her wrist, but she pulled away once more, pulling her school jumper down over her hand and faking a cough.

'Maybe this'll stop him wanting to put it on my wrist' she thought as she leant backwards away from him, fake coughing and watching him through squinting eyes.

David waited until she stopped the obviously fake coughing fit and grabbed her arm, bringing it down slowly as he spoke gently. "Robyn, please, I'd like you to have this"

Seeing the odd, misplaced desperation in his eyes, Robyn felt confused. Why did he need this so much? It was just a load of daisies, where was the point anymore?

She snatched the "bracelet" sighing at their childishness and ripped through the delicate stalks, grabbing her bag and blazer before turning to run off. "I DON'T WANT IT OKAY?" she screamed, anger overtaking anxiety. She turned to run, but fell to the ground, slipping on the damp grass as the contents of her bag flew out across the lawn.

David could only stay hurt for a millisecond before he dashed over to where she sat, tears pouring down her face; he skidded on the grass and fell to her side, instantly picking himself up and ignoring the burning sensation taking over his knees as he knelt up and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I-I'm sorry, it's not you" Robyn wept and he held her close to him, his hand tracing circles on her back as she sobbed and shook.

"What happened?" he said, trying to disguise the mild annoyance in his voice – the only time they'd ever argued was the time David had been dared by another boy to ignore her for the day, back in year six. He hated seeing her upset and to see her in this state tore his heart to shreds. "Robyn please" he whimpered, tears collecting in the corners of his eyes.

"I'm sorry" she whispered, her tears silent and burning now: a pure collection of the fear and hatred she was feeling – the only feelings she really knew anymore.

"I don't understand – it's just a bracelet" David whispered as her head fell to his shoulder.

Tears still rolling down Robyn's face, she shakily raised her wrist before lifting her arm, so her jumper sleeve dropped down to her elbow.

David gasped as he stared at the deep, twisted cuts entwined around her fragile wrist. He looked back to her and saw how breakable his friend really was.

Behind that laughing, joking façade, she really was just a mortal like him – the thing was, with Robyn, life always seemed so much brighter; it was as if everything else was pixelated, but when he looked at her, the image was so sharp and everything intensified. Now he wondered if she was the one creating the pixels all along, hiding behind a blur of bright red hair and fake laughter.

"But why?" he asked, taking her wrist and tracing the silky scar tissue. His hands shook out of habit and he wished that now, the time at which he needed them to be strong the most, that they'd stop their relentless shaking.

Robyn felt succumbed to a certain numbness, all the pain of the past year since it all started washing out of her until she just felt empty, staring into the abyss of David's deep grey eyes. She was silent.

"Robyn, baby, why?" David's eyes burnt as tears rimmed his eyes, the pain of seeing her so placid tearing him up from the inside out. "I love you, I don't want you to hurt this way, it isn't fair!" David almost shouted the end of his sentence, but shouting wasn't in his nature, and he wanted to make it as easy for her to open up to him as possible. "Baby, please" he muttered, his eyes imploring her to open up and unlock the crypt of pain stuck inside her head.

"It's the only way I know how to control everything" she whimpered, her eyes pleading or forgiveness.

David thought for a moment, his hand running absentmindedly through his girlfriend's hair, and the bubble of anxiety was drained from her throat. If he hated her, he wouldn't still be holding her would he?

The silence surrounding them seemed endless and she pulled away, taken aback by the way in which he was reacting. David took a breath and then spoke. "There are other ways you know, I'll never understand this, but I hope I can still help." He stopped for a few seconds and Robyn wondered if she should just leave; she was so embarrassed that he'd discovered the marks on her wrist, but at the same time a rush of relief hit her – she didn't feel so alone anymore.

"Every night will have a brighter day" David continued, and Robyn remembered when he'd first said that to her when she's been lying in the emergency department of a hospital, machines bleeping and pinging around her after her attempted overdose. She cringed at the thought of her incessant weakness and David spoke again, "Robyn baby, never cut, promise me you'll not cut, you can do anything just please not this."

Robyn was surprised by how calm and steady David's voice was as he held her wrist firmly, his fingers fluttering over the scars, as if willing them to disappear with his touch.

"O-okay" she said, nodding and looking up into his eyes; his grip loosened on her wrist and their lips briefly brushed past one another. David, still in shock, felt a tingle as their lips came into contact, but pulled away a little. He needed Robyn to see that he was far more than just a love interest – he needed to show her that he could be strong, then maybe she'd feel stronger.

Robyn walked down her road, out of the cul de sac she lived in and turned onto the main road and along to her bus stop. _Things seem brighter today_ she thought; the pavement felt gentle under her converse and the sun shone, lifting her mood even further. _Telling David had been for the best_ she decided, flagging down the bus as it drew near to her stop. From now on, things would be different.

Settling down into her seat, Robyn pressed her earphones into her ears, took a deep breath and texted David.

 _R: Hey.._

 _D: Robyn! Hey, are you okay?_

Robyn took a deep breath, looked out the window at the cars shooting past the window and continued to type as the first few words of the song filled her ears. "Now, the night is coming to an end". Truce – Twenty One Pilots; she identified the song, listening intently as the tune soared up inside her. That's what she needed really: a truce.

 _R: Yeah I'm okay, I'm sorry about yesterday evening, I shouldn't have said anything and I understand if you don't want to talk to me anymore, I'm a fuck-up I know that._

Almost immediately, she received a text back:

 _D: We talked about this last night, and we can talk about it again. We're gonna go to the student counsellor today, together, and it's going to be okay. I'm here for you baby._

"The sun will rise, and we will try again" the song continued playing, resonating with her oddly mixed emotions. Robyn felt intensely calm, almost irritatingly so, yet nervous at the same time. She wasn't entirely sure what it was, but it probably had something to do with what had happened a year ago.

 ** _Robyn held her phone out in front of her, the conversation blurred by a sheen of tears that threatened to escape her eyes, dare she blink. Glen, her boyfriend was the person with whom the conversation was being held._**

 ** _G: I told you time and time again, you've got to stop hanging out with that David person. He isn't good for you, you wouldn't always be so down if you didn't always spend so much time with him._**

 ** _G: Stop ignoring me, you've got to admit he's a bit weird?_**

 ** _G: Robyn I_** **said** ** _quit ignoring me, I'm your boyfriend and you're supposed to love me. Not him. It's him or me, you choose._**

 ** _R: Glen please_**

 ** _G: I'm not messing about anymore, I want my girl back you're mine_**

 ** _She watched his last message with something she would come to know as hatred burning in the back of her throat. She held up the bottle of aspirin once more, the light blinking off it's amber surface. If she had to choose between David and Glen, she'd choose David in a heartbeat, but Glen loved her too right? It was too much she had to leave._**

 ** _Quickly she fired off a text to David and then hesitantly hovered above Glens name before typing one for him hastily too._**

 ** _R: David, I love you ever since that first day in nursery, I've loved you and I still do. I need you to know that my time with Glen hasn't been very pleasant and I would have far rather been with you. I know you're happy with Lily and I know this will do nothing but stir which is why I have to leave. I can't handle this anymore so I need to go. Never stop believing – Rx_**

 ** _R: Glen, my Dad says I need to sleep now. – Rx_**

She should have known then, Robyn thought. The moment she sent a goodbye note to David, and a hasty goodnight one to Glen, God she should've known he didn't love her. And she certainly hadn't loved him.

 ** _A good two hours later she awoke in hospital having deliriously had her stomach pumped. David sat scarily close to her, considering how much vomiting she had just done, his fingers tightly entwined in hers._**

He'd stayed with her from midnight when she awoke, a fierce grip on her hand, right up until 11am the next day.

 ** _It was her and him. That was how it was meant to be._**

He'd told her he loved her too – he'd actually only gone on one date with Lily and then broken up. Lily was gay, he said, he was doing her a favour, so she could avoid bullying and she was doing him one, by avoiding him looking too clingy.

 ** _She would never forget the look of paralysing fear and self-hatred engraved into her best friend's face._**

Robyn was sucked back out her thoughts as the bus pulled into the school car park, two minutes after the first bell had rung, and her song continued to play.

"You will die, and now your life is free…"

Robyn ripped her earphones out of her ears – she couldn't stand to listen to the end of the song, not after the vivid flashbacks she had just been sucked into.

At this rate, she was going to be late for French anyway.

Robyn half-walked, half-ran to her French room and threw the door open so frantically her books went flying nearly halfway across the front of the room.

"Ah Robyn, you care to join us at last!" her French teacher exclaimed in a thick Parisian accent, gesturing almost angrily towards the fallen folders, hurrying the slight girl along with a fiercely withering look.

Robyn gathered her books ashamedly, as quickly as she could; her face glowed bright red and it felt as though the whole class just pointed and laughed. No one got up to help her pick them up off the floor and it felt like hours before she had retrieved all the individual sheets of paper that had blown under desks with the force of the breeze caused by the swinging door.

As Robyn took her seat, something snapped inside of her, but not quickly, it snapped slowly – tensing out and sluggishly ripping her world apart. Like an elastic band tense and pressurised, she felt the need to let go. Only one thing could bring her such relief and she wasn't even sure that would do enough for her. Either way, she was going to have to come back to this room every day, sit with these morons and practise French tenses. There was no point. She didn't belong. She never would belong, not here not anywhere. She had to get away.

And with that thought, she turned on her phone.

 _R: David, I love you with my body heart and soul to death – Rx_

Within a matter of moments, her screen flashed white again under the desk and she opened her inbox. One message lay under David's name: short and sweet.

 _D: I love you too xx_

By the end of the lesson, Robyn knew what she had to do. She caught the next bus home and unlocked the back door, creeping through the utility room and closing all the doors behind her. After performing a full circuit of the downstairs, she opened the front door, only to see that her Dad's car wasn't there. _Thank God_ she thought, turning away from the empty driveway her pace increasing as she reached the bathroom and practically threw herself through the door.

Her hands were shaking now and she caught sight of herself in the mirror. Suddenly, Robyn's nerves were replaced with a settling anger for at herself for being so stupid. _Ha!_ She thought _like David ever really loved you, Glen was right – you would have been so much better with him you stupid bitch, David would be here by now if he really cared._

Robyn grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked until tears formed in the corners of her eyes, her mascara beginning to tear down her face. She clamped a hand over her mouth as she screamed desperately, begging her demons for mercy and slamming her other fist against the tap; water rushed down into the sink, blocking the sound of her weakened cries. Nothing could ever block how she felt inside.

That feeling this morning: she thought at the time she might have had _A Shift_ the transition between depression and neurotypicality. God how she'd hoped for that – now though Robyn could see how stupid she'd been to believe she could ever be cured.

As the thoughts and voices screamed at her, she tore her hand away from her mouth and grabbed a razor from atop the bathroom cabinet, slamming it against the doorframe to snap the plastic encasing the important part. With clumsy hands, she retrieved the blade, slicing her index finger open as she went and held it up to the light for a moment before bringing it down to rest beside the sink. She didn't have a choice anymore.

David felt an odd feeling in his stomach on the way to his chemistry class and he tapped the screen of his phone awake once more. The short-lived mid-lesson exchange remained silently burned into the screen.

 _R:David I love you with my body, heart and soul to death – Rx_

 _D: I love you too xx_

"Fuck!" David exclaimed loudly, gaining some attention from his peers, looks of surprise from those closest around him. Surprise at the thought that the odd, quiet boy could actually speak, let alone swear.

David shoved his phone deep inside his pocket and ran out the corridor, shoving through crowds of students, gathering like huddled penguins by their lockers. It was at that moment that David shoved his anxiety out of the way and hurtled through the school gates.

It was ten minutes by foot to Robyn's house (assuming that was where she was) and that was if he ran and, not accounting for traffic lights. David just hoped the dropping sensation in his stomach wasn't right. It couldn't be, Robyn was so beautiful, surely she was happy too? Almost as soon as he had thought that, David wanted to kick himself. Robyn had cut her arms – she had physically taken a blade and sliced through her own skin. Beauty, no matter how pure, wasn't everything; even though she was beautiful and perfect – heck she was everything through David's eyes – she clearly wasn't happy and he needed to get to her before she did herself any more damage.

Robyn had cut herself. Four times. Now all she felt was disappointment as an odd faint feeling settled into her head. Black fuzz appeared in the corner of her eyes and she shook her head a little to clear it. That was odd – her head felt strangely heavy. She tried to look down at her arm, held above the rushing water, but her head rolled downwards on her neck and she felt a sinking feeling.

She was actually going to die.

Suddenly, she wasn't sure she was ready for death, this time she had no back-up plan, no one to save her. Her dad was still out and as far as she could tell David didn't care. She had given him the note, right? Wait, what note?

Delirium set in as her hand slid in her own blood, causing her to fall face down on the floor, her torn wrist too weak to push herself up on and her voice barely there.

As her eyes began to draw to a close, all she could think of was how quickly she'd broken the promise she'd made the afternoon before. _Jesus Christ_ she thought as her eyes sunk back into her head. Or that was how it felt like she was thinking those words, but they came in David's voice.

The pain was searing as more blood flowed out of her arm and she wished her death would hurry up. Until she felt arms around her; that was when she knew – she wished – she hadn't done it. It was too late now.

"Jesus Christ" David screamed, grabbing Robyn around her shoulders and heaving her upright. He could see where her jumper had been rolled up on her left arm and took in the four deep gashes bleeding severely. He couldn't even shed a tear, the panic coursing through him was so strong. David's heart was gunning.

He tore his own jumper off and tied it as tightly as he could around just below Robyn's left elbow and she whimpered in half-awareness of the pain it must've caused her. Everything seemed muted about her and he slung the cut arm over his shoulder to keep it elevated as she flopped almost lifelessly against his body.

Ripping his phone out of his pocket, his hands clearly typed "999" into the keypad and his call was answered immediately. "999 which service do you require?"

An entirely new rush of adrenaline swept through David as he frantically blurted everything down to the operator, all the while holding Robyn to himself, alarmed at just how cold she was growing, though at least the blood had stopped pouring and had now become the occasional trickle.

He knew a panic attack would be incredibly unhelpful considering the situation and instead did what his counsellor had suggested and remembered the good times instead.

He remembered the way in which Robyn had always been louder than him and he had practically worshipped her from the moment she first gave him that red fruit pastille in the playground.

He remembered how he had always loved her and they'd always been Robyn and David – as long as they were together, nothing could ever break them apart: From the little notes they passed to one another in class, hers always covered with drawings of hearts and stars, his with neat rows of giraffes or penguins, to the fruit pastilles they shared and their "friendship" bracelets made from garden twine found in Robyn's mum's greenhouse.

But most of all, he remembered her smile and the way her marine blue eyes lit up whenever she saw him.

"Come on Robyn" he pleaded into the silence, "You can hear me right? Open your eyes for me, give me that gorgeous look, some on Robyn baby please?"

David was begging and pleading, tears numbing his eyes by the time the ambulance arrived.

A paramedic came through the still-open front door and called up the stairs. "Hello? Where are you? I'm Iain, a paramedic"

All David could do was cry out in response and within moments, the paramedic: Iain and a second paramedic (soon to introduce himself as Jez) were opening the door to the bathroom and tying a tourniquet around his girlfriend's arm.

"You did an amazing job" Iain promised David as they sat in the back of the ambulance, Robyn now hooked up to a temporary IV and heart monitor. "Thankfully she hasn't lost much blood, and you found her quickly"

David stared on in silence, his fingers wrapped tightly around hers, just like the previous year. I she died, it would be all his fault and he knew now that he'd never get over it.

 _It was so much like the year before_ , David thought, sitting in the waiting room as doctors and nurses dashed around the ED _._ It was a busy night – Friday nights always were by the looks of it, since the staff didn't seem too stressed, just very very busy.

David was blaming himself; he knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't help it: his own world, his own girl just took a crashing, and he hadn't been around to help her any sooner.

Just then, an exhausted looking doctor trudged out of the door to his right and walked over to his huddled, self-hating, figure. "David Hide?" he asked.

"Y-yes that's me" David replied shakily, a look of desperation in his eyes.

"I'm Doctor Knight" the man began, before changing tact, "I'm so sorry" he continued, but after that, David heard nothing. The anguish he felt inside tore through him and ripped every bit of hope from his body, as he sat, silent and motionless.

"She lost a lot of blood" the Doctor's voice came back into focus, breaking through the buzz of grief that swallowed David whole, "It's likely that she will be okay, but she's also going to be admitted to the psychiatric unit once we've stabilised her blood levels".

The fog inside David's mind broke as he realised he was wrong – Robyn had survived and now he had to be there for her. "I-I need" he stuttered, before losing words altogether and shoved past the towering man and through the double doors, ignoring the cries of "You can't go in there!" coming from Dr knight outside.

Suddenly, David was still. It wasn't what he'd expected: Robyn lay, her face death-white and her hot red curls matted, pushed away from her face. Her mascara was streaked across her face and it contrasted shockingly against her porcelain skin. He stood paralyzed with shock and Doctor Knight's hand came to rest on his shoulder. "Shall we go buy some coffee, yeah?" He said softly, and David found himself turning away from his friend and back towards the doors. He was unthinking, an emotionless ache overcoming his body as he fell to his knees, right there in the waiting area and cried.

His Robyn. She was still alive, but she looked dead. He felt – he didn't know how he felt – he didn't feel like crying it didn't seem appropriate, he felt empty but full and almost like he'd died inside. _No he shouldn't think that_ God _why was he so crap at this?_

Two hands came to rest on his shoulders and he could feel himself walking and then sitting. He was in a new room, secluded, and there were sofa's and pillows. That's what he should do: focus on what was around him, focus on what was good. Robyn was going to live – he'd been told that. It was highly likely anyway, so he could go with that for the time being. He was handed a cardboard cup and he heard a voice in the distance, "You should drink that, I think you may be disassociating, the sugar might help". David couldn't think. Where was he? Robyn. That was all he needed to think. Robyn. Robyn.

Four hours later, David awoke. At some point he'd fallen asleep, but he didn't remember doing so. Now he lay, half sprawled across a sofa, checking his watch he realised it was 4pm. Robyn.

He got up just as another doctor came into the room. "David Hide?" he questioned, gesturing for David to sit back down, "Your friend Robyn" he shuffled his notes a little, quickly scanning the latest sheet.

"No" David whispered and the doctor looked back up at him, his expression confused. David waited with baited breath as he felt his world begin to peel and fray at the edges. If the Doctor said what he least wanted him to say, David's life would be over; his world crushed.

"Your friend" the doctor continued "She's come round and she's asking for you"

David let out a yelp of joy "Y-you mean?" he asked.

"Yes, she's going to be alright physically – mentally she isn't very stable at the moment, so she'll be on the psychiatric ward for around five to seven days until her assessment comes back – " The doctor was cut off as David stood. The details weren't important to David now: he just needed to see his friend.

As David entered the cubicle, he saw Robyn's Dad crouched by the side of the bed. He was holding her hand, David felt a brief pang of jealousy that her Dad had known she was okay before _he_ had, but it was almost instantly replaced by relief that she was sitting up and breathing.

Her Dad stood on David's arrival. "Ah David, I'll leave you two for a moment – I'm dying for a cuppa anyway". David gave him a forced half-smile, he loved Charlie, Robyn's dad, but his attention was focused on Robyn herself. Her skin still looked pale and sallow and she was clearly completely exhausted, her left arm covered by gauze and a bandage.

Machines bleeped and pinged around them and David stood staring at her, remembering the year past and feeling the familiarity set in. "Robyn." He whispered, sidestepping around the bed and crouching beside her, opposite to where he Dad had sat moments ago.

He took her right hand and placed a gentle kiss on it. He heard her sigh and suddenly the odd empty feeling he had had for the past six hours was filled with a rush of love for the girl that lay beside him. She looked down at him and smiled – the smile he'd asked for when he was holding her in the bathroom. That felt so long ago, time moved slowly in hospitals he'd found, and he wished her smile now could last forever.

They stayed like that: holding hands for hours. They talked, of course they did, just about the little things of course. Like the times they'd gone on hikes wearing wellies and crunching leaves in the autumn when they were younger – David told her she reminded him of all the seasons, Robyn laughed and he relished the sound of it. They talked about all the little things they'd done together and he stayed with her when they changed her drip and took her blood pressure.

"I'm not leaving your side" he promised her when she began to doze off out of exhaustion.

Eventually though, he had to leave. It was 2am and she was asleep – two nurses came to wheel her up to the psychiatric ward and David was told he wasn't allowed to go up to that ward just yet.

"We need to get your friend settled in and honestly, you should go home and get some sleep. We shouldn't have allowed you to stay this long anyway" continued the porter, Max "and if my boss Miss Beauchamp finds out you're still here, there'll be hell to pay for me".

As if on cue, a tall, scary-looking lady marched along to cubicles. "Come on Max" she snapped, "What's taking so long, and why is _he_ still here?"

"I-I'm sorry I'll go" David stammered, turning and practically running out of the ED to meet his mum.

"Well I wasn't expecting that kind of reaction" Connie snapped snidely as Max stifled a giggle. "Come on Mr Walker, haven't got all day, there are more patients waiting.

The next morning, David was back at Holby City Hospital. It was 8am and he'd barely slept the night before, but had made sure to shower and practise a mild attempt at general hygiene.

As he entered the front entrance of the hospital, he saw Robyn's Dad across the forecourt waving to him, and he made his way across to him.

"David, we didn't get the chance to talk yesterday, I wanted to say how grateful I am that there are people like you in the world, and how truly truly thankful I am that you should have found her when you did." He took a breath and swallowed, "Did you know about this?" he asked, looking David in the eye.

Out of nervous habit David pulled his gaze away and looked slightly to the left of the man stood in front of him. Only now did he realize where Robyn got her incredible flame-red hair from. "K-Know about what?" he asked.

"Ah sorry I should explain" the older man said, placing a hand on David's back and guiding him indoors to the lift to take them up to the correct ward. "You see, when she got changed into the hospital gown, one of the doctors noticed a lot of scarring, old and new, on her arms and stomach and I was wondering if you knew". Charlie waited patiently as the boy in front of him formed his words.

"Not exactly" David whispered nervously, "Yesterday though we were in my garden and I did see some _scratches_ I guess you could call them, on her wrist. She said it was the only way she knew how to control what was going on inside and I said" he paused, rolling his tongue inside his mouth as he contemplated his words, "I said something along the lines of 'please don't cut' and I think told her she was important. I really don't remember, I'm sorry, she promised she wouldn't do it again" David's words ground to a halt and Charlie placed his hands on his shoulders.

"Thank you for letting me know" he said softly as the lift stopped and the doors swooshed open "You're a good friend to her".

A few days later, David and Robyn sat in a courtyard of a mental hospital just outside of hospital. Robyn was still on suicide watch, but things were looking up and she was due to be let out in around a week. She was seeing a regular counsellor and a therapist, and was on medication to try to regulate her emotions. She had also made a friend; an anorexic girl called Alicia: Alicia had been in the hospital for months, so Robyn supposed that she was lucky to only have to be there for such a short time. She was still depressed (and had learnt that _The Shift_ wouldn't happen all at once), but she regretted ever trying to end her life. Robyn could see now that she hadn't wanted to end her life, she'd wanted to end the pain she was feeling. After all, she had reasons to live.

David was glad she had someone to talk to when he couldn't be around as he really couldn't afford to miss any more chemistry classes; his marks had dropped since Robyn had gone into hospital, and though he was still an A student, it bothered him a little.

Now though, the two sat on a bench under a willow tree as crisp maple leaves fell around them. They were laughing over a memory of them baking a cake together and getting completely covered in cake mix, so much so that the actual cake itself had been tiny and Charlie had laughed over how pathetic it had been.

With tears in her eyes, Robyn watched David laugh – his coal grey eyes sparkling and his brown hair flopping forward over his eyes.

"You need a haircut, you do" she exclaimed, laughing again as she ran her hands through his fringe and their heads came together. Their lips made contact and all Robyn felt was warmth and a love for the boy in front of her like nothing she'd ever felt before.

Charlie watched the two friends from a window on the second level. He held a paper cup of filter coffee in his hand and smiled adoringly down at the two, now ruffling one another's hair and laughing. They were absolutely made for one another and with that thought, he remembered his darling Duffy and how they had once been like that. One thing was for sure, David and Robyn would never separate: this was how it was meant to be.

Things were looking up.


End file.
